Plate of the Daleks

None of your tampering with genetics or harvesting human cadavers for me. When I need a remorseless army of enforcers I reach for the rolling pin. Soon my Dalek cookies will be the supreme power in the universe.

This is not the end. This is only the beginning!

Door Jam

Emma and I went out of the house Saturday morning to walk down to town and get some breakfast, Saturdays are still a bit of a novelty to us.

Two metres from the house I realised I hadn't put my specs on. My eyesight isn't that bad but if it's further away fro my hand it's going to be a little blurry. I was intending to raid some second hand book shops so I'd be needing my eyeses.

Pop back to the house and open the door... open the door... open (strain) - nope. The door won't open.

I may have mentioned we've not been too happy in this house. On Saturday the house bit back again. I tried to call the letting agent but just got an answerphone. Just to be safe we decided to walk down to their office and pop in to explain the situation in person.

'We're your tennants from number X on blah st,' we said, 'and we can't get into the house. The lock turns but the door isn't opening.'

'I don't think I can get anyone out to you today.' says the company that manages our home.

'You'll have to get someone out today because we can't get into our house,' says we.

'I know what you're saying but I'm not sure there'll be anyone available today, it's Saturday.'

'Then you'll have to arrange an emergency locksmith,' I suggest.

'Take a seat please,' our handy dandy helper says dismissively.

So we sit. And we listen to the letting agent phone the land lady. The conversation begins with a discussion about who will pay.

'If we call someone out and there's nothing wrong with the lock you'll have to pay.'

'Once we're back in our house and the situation is resolved we can discuss who pays for what,' I reply.

'But if the latch has dropped and the deadlock's on are you happy to pay?' she asks.

'You need to get us into our house,' I say firmly, 'then we can discuss payment.'

'The tenants are fine with paying,' she tells the land lady - still on the phone. Curiously that doesn't seem to match the words that came out of my mouth. Too late it ocurrs to me that if the latch has dropped and the deadlocks on then the locks at fault anyway. I say so helpfully but the letting agent isn't very interested in anything I say unless I say it loudly and slowly like I'm about to rip her eyeballs out of their sockets and stuff them up her nose.

Rather than call out a locksmith, like we asked, they send one of their man-with-a-van's. This works out in our favour though as it turns out there really isn't anything wrong with the lock. The door is so swollen from the damp we've already reported that it's solidly jammed shut. Man-with-a-van has to force his way in and plane a couple of inches off the door to shut it. This is the second time the door has been planed in fortnight. Come July you'll be able to walk into the house without opening the door. At least we won't be here then.

The point of this story is this. I've been renting for over a decade, I've had a lot of land lords and I've dealt with a lot of letting agencies. I don't honestly think I've ever rented from anyone who didn't describe me as an ideal tennant. My current letting agency are without doubt the laziest, most incompetent and overpriced company it has ever been my misfortune to deal with. Their customer service is atrocious and I would warn anyone who reads this never to even consider renting or purchasing a property through them. Only a sense of good form prevents me disclosing the name of the company - though I could probably be convinced. If you're looking for a home in the Worcestershire area drop me a line and I'll let you know.

On the plus side I did find The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Making of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on video for 50p at the Cats Protection jumble sale. And The Trouble with Lichen from the bookshop in the market on The Shambles. We're probably going to get a cat when we move. If we can think of a good name. Is Phenomena a good name for a cat?

Writers Strike Breakthrough..?

The BBC News website reports that there has been a breakthrough in negotiations over the Writers Guild of America strike.

"A breakthrough has reportedly been reached during informal talks between striking Hollywood writers and production companies.

The two sides bridged the gap over the key issue of payment for projects distributed on the internet, the Associated Press news agency said."

Full details here.

What's Going On

Time for a brief, but well overdue, update. As previously noted the new year resolutions have not had a particularly life changing effect so far. In fact I've managed to be less productive than I was prior to the new year if anything. No mean feat.

The reason, or the excuse if you're feeling charitable, is that another move looms. Unexpectedly we spotted a likely home over the holiday season and we're in the process of sorting out all the endless gubbins involved in buying a house.

Without intending any offence to the picturesque City of Worcester we will not be staying on in these parts. Whether because it was such a trial finding somewhere to live here, or because the place we found was not really adequate for our purposes I can't say. Whatever the reason we've not been very comfortable during our stay. I think we may be regular visitors in the future however as I am very fond of the Cathedral, the river and The Swan with Two Nicks.

I don't want to jinx the new home so I'll not go into too many details yet. I will reveal that I already have a writey room (or study as I believe more professional persons describe them) earmarked (and a shopping list for kitting it out Cork board - check, multi-coloured post it notes - check, flip chart - check, one of those little basketball hoops to clip on to the bin - check...). This will be a vast improvement on the situation in our current home where I balance the laptop on my knee.

We're not likely to move before April so I've revised my writing objetives somewhat. As long as I complete the one project I've been working on by the time of the move then I'll be happy. I can then start off in the new place with all fresh projects. That'll feel good. I still believe 2008 is going to be a make or break year for me - and I oddly feel more and more positive about the future. In the mean time I've been reading and viewing extensively.

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In other news I've been enjoying some quality drama over the last month. I've watched the first series of Survivors, which has agressively asserted itself amongst my favourite television programmes ever (Abby Grant is my new hero). We've also been watching the first three series of Dad's Army. When a series is repeated so often, and usually the same episodes over and over, it's easy to forget what great scripts they had, and what a brilliant cast they had. I recommend settling in with a Dad's Army DVD as an excellent way to spend an evening and a masterclass in television comedy.

Similarly, having received the complete Blackadder collection for Christmas I scoffed the lot in a couple of weeks (well, apart from Back and Forth. I'm going to leave a bit of a gap before I watch that - about ten years I think). I may not have watched the potato episode for fifteen years but I still remembered every line, to the endless delight of my wife.

The redoubtable Torchwood is back and, as expected, better than last year. If I'm totally honest I found the first episode slightly overcooked but the last two have been very, very good (particularly the one by Mr Moran of this parish). I also guess it should lead straight into series four of Who so yee-harr!

I've also been very much enjoying the second series of Primeval, just as fresh and fun as the first series was, but a bit dafter!

All this and Ashes to Ashes starts next Thursday. Not completely sure it needed to be made but I am sure I'll enjoy it. I certainly like the Radio Times covers!

I'm sure I'll have more to say about Survivors, Torchie and Ashes soon.

Until then...